‘Why can’t I get what I want’

These are notes that I have taken a seminar and Insha'Allah this will be a great benefit to you. The notes below are my own notes and may not represent the views of the speaker.

‘Why can’t I get what I want’ by Yasmin Mogehad

When a child wants something, they place all their energy into getting it. But not everything they want is good for them. For example, a child wants to play with a knife. A parent will prevent that because the child can get hurt. The child doesn’t know the danger of the knife. The child then throws a tantrum.

When we as adults don’t get what we want, we throw a tantrum with Allah. Just like a child and parent.

One of the most important things we have to understand is the POWER of ALLAH:

-          Allah is not a genie in a bottle to grant your every wish.

-          We do not employ Allah

You have to remember that Allah owns us. If Allah wills a certain way or thing then no one can alter the decision of Allah.

When we recite the words ‘la hawla wala quwwata illa billah’. There is no strength nor power except Allah’. Really understand it. There is no change in state accept by Allah. This is a phrase of Jannah.

The biggest deception we are in, is that ‘we’ are in control. Do you forget that we are flawed, selfish? Just imagine if humans controlled the earth. Take a moment.

We wouldn’t survive.

Nothing can affect or alter the decision of Allah, no matter how much you bang your head against the wall.

The second most important thing is to be GRATEFUL THAT ALLAH HAS THE POWER:

Look at Allah’s names:

Al Alim, Allah knows everything

Al Kareem, never prevents anything from us out of stinginess

Al Wahhab, Allah loves to give gifts

 

The will of Allah will always be, we can never impose upon Allah.

You may say that a situation for you or something is not good for you or that it might hurt you. But we may hate something that is good for us.

For example, you may hate that you have lost a parent but Allah knows that it is good for us.

Third most important thing is that we have to recognise that WHATEVER ALLAH DECIDES IS GOOD FOR ME:

This all comes down to trusting Allah. When we undergo a major surgery, we sign a consent form for the procedure and you place your trust in the surgeon to have the knowledge, you trust their sincerity in making sure that you get the best outcome possible and you trust them to act selflessly during the surgery.

Another example, when your mum tells you she has a surprise for you. She asks you to follow her. You trust her. You trust her because you know she will keep you safe. You trust that she has sincerity in keeping you safe and you trust her selflessness when she takes you to your surprise.

So why do we fall short in trusting Allah. In trust there is three aspects. Trust Allah is All-Knowledgeable, Trust that Allah has the best for us planned (the sincerity in that plan for us from Allah). Trust all for His Selflessness azawajal.

The pain and suffering we feel is due to the deficiency in our trust with Allah.

When something happens in our life, all we tend to see is the creation in this life. We only see our situation. We are not able to see that Allah is in charge and there is something beyond the actors in our life. There is a director. It is Allah. We forget that we are not the director and that there is a director. We can only see the actors in our life. We are ourselves actors.

By admitting that Allah is our director, we are letting go of control. This is difficult to do. We want to feel like are in control. When we act like we have control of every situation and we are the one instigating our lives, Allah sends us situations that we have no control over. It teaches is that it is Allah who is in real control.

Because we have no control over our lives, does not mean that we should have defeatist mentality. This alone comes from the Shaytan who wants us to falter and never be able to get up again.

Some may ask, what’s the point of striving?

Our work is not about results. It always comes back to PURPOSE. Our purpose is to worship of Allah.

Our mind has been created to think as slaves. The question you have to ask yourself is what are we slave to? People. Money. Desires. Social Status. All these things are type of slavery. We are all slaves. Because its something we are created to do. Love Allah. Know Allah. Worship Allah. Ultimately become the slave of Allah.

To be what Allah intended me to be is a ‘SLAVE OF ALLAH’.

For example, look at fashion. The quote ‘we hear and obey’ comes to mind. 5years ago, no one would be caught dead wearing leggings and a short t-shirt. But people obey

The higher criteria of Allah is to say ‘NO’. We no longer become devastated when things don’t work out.

A common question asked is ‘When do we know if it’s a hardship or test or a blessing? is it good or bad? Is Allah displeased?’

The answer is in the form of a question, did this thing bring you closer to Allah or take you away? Think about your goal and your final destination. Even if it’s a form of hardship and even if its something that you do not what.  Whatever happens to a believer, it brings them closer to Allah.

That is why we need to make istakarah a vital part of our lives. When we ask Allah for what we want and to place blessings in it right from the beginning. But if it is not good for us, then to take it away from us. This shows that nothing bad can happen to us.

People often ask, ‘why do bad things happen to good people?’

Bad things do not happen to good people. It is how we define good and bad. A believer responding correctly means that every situation is good for him.

Abu Suhayb ibn Sinaan narrated that the Prophet said: “How amazing is the case of the believer; there is good for him in everything, and this characteristic is exclusively for him alone. If he experiences something pleasant, he is thankful, and that is good for him; and if he comes across some diversity, he is patient, and that is good for him.” [Muslim]

What is our role?

-          We need to strive in getting closer to Allah

-          We need to keep responding as a believer to every circumstance that we find ourselves in.

-          The only thing that we are in control of is our response and our actions.

When we move closer to Allah, we secure our shelter. Our shelter is the nearness to Allah.

 

We should not be afraid. We can control our reaction and we come to a position that everything in our lives we understand to be good for us. We need to always go back to Allah; it will help us on our journey to our final destination.

Be content with the decision of ALLAH.